“All the Depths of My Wanting”: A Solange Introspection

– Written by Lucy Kebirungi –

Solange’s discography reflects her profound emotional depth. She has evolved from the more mainstream sound of her earlier albums to an experimental, and soulful expression. Each album marks a shift in her exploration of love, identity, and personal growth. With every release becoming progressively more intimate and raw with every release. 

From Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams to A Seat at the Table and When I Get Home, Solange invites listeners into the complexities of her emotional landscape. One theme that continuously stands out to me as a listener is the fear of love. The thread is sewn through her songs and reveals her vulnerabilities, her struggles with emotional closeness, and her understanding of self-worth.

In “Don’t Let Me Down”, the fear is palpable. The repeated plea, “Baby, baby please don’t let me down,” reflects an anxious desire for validation and reassurance. The lyrics are an emotional confession. They express that when Solange opens herself to love, she’s inadvertently opening herself to the possibility of heartbreak. The contrast between the song’s lively tempo and its anxious lyrics creates a poignant tension— her vulnerability feels almost out of place against the upbeat sound, highlighting how love can bring joy but also deep uncertainty. 

“Jerrod” presents an introspective and deeply personal exploration of love’s complexities. The lyric, “Give you all the depths of my wanting” speaks to the overwhelming nature of desire, where the intensity of affection can feel all-encompassing. Solange’s vulnerability is clear as she exposes the rawness of her feelings, while also acknowledging the weight of wanting someone so deeply. The song resonates with anyone who has struggled with the fear of wanting too much from their partner, afraid they might fail to deliver. This fear is similarly reflected in the song “Beltway,” where emotional vulnerability is simultaneously expressed and withheld. The song’s repetition of the phrases “Don’t, don’t don’t” and “You love me, love me” creates an almost hypnotic atmosphere. It mirrors the tension between the yearning for connection and the hesitation to embrace it fully. This ambivalence reflects the ongoing theme of emotional conflict, where the desire for love is constantly met with the fear of it. The sparseness of the lyrics emphasizes the emotional weight of these pleas. It makes it feel as though the song is a whisper to a lover for connection that we, as listeners, are walking in on. 

In “Locked in Closets”, the repeated line “All I wanted was the dream of being with you” serves as a poignant reflection of longing, isolation, and the complexity of desire. On the surface, it suggests a yearning for intimacy and connection. Solange wants to be in a space with someone where she can truly be herself, undisturbed and uninterrupted. But the use of the word “dream” implies that this is an idealized version of love, not necessarily rooted in reality. The repetition of the line emphasizes how deeply this longing runs for Solange. It becomes a mantra of sorts, underscoring the depth of her desire, which contrasts with the loneliness that echoes throughout the song. At the same time, the line carries a sense of unattainability, hinting that this desire might not be something she truly had or could ever fully attain. That uncertainty leads to fear opening up in romantic relationships which gives way to deep frustration. 

We see this in “Some Things Never Seem to Fucking Work,” as she grapples with the frustration of love’s often cyclical nature. The titular line speaks to the repeated disappointments that can come from opening yourself to someone who may not reciprocate your feelings. It’s a resigned acknowledgment that despite our best efforts, love doesn’t always turn out the way we truly want or need. Yet, in her frustration, there’s a deeper yearning: an acknowledgement that even though love can be painful, she can never fully escape it. 

Lastly, “Don’t Wish Me Well” echoes the feelings of emotional withdrawal that often accompanies a difficult relationship. The song depicts a sense of departure, both physical and emotional, but with a complex layer of unresolved attachment. The lines “And I’m going all the way / But I’ll leave on the lights for you” suggest that while she is moving forward, leaving something behind, there’s a part of her that’s still connected to the person she’s addressing. The phrase “leave on the lights for you” can be interpreted as illuminating a path, signalling that she hasn’t completely severed ties. It’s as if she’s offering the person a way to follow or understand her, even as she distances herself. It’s a deeply vulnerable gesture in that she’s still willing to shine some light on the relationship, even though she’s walking away. 

Solange’s depiction of love has always stood out to me as she dives into the raw honesty it requires. Romantic love is rarely depicted in its full complexity, often romanticized as a flawless, easy experience. But Solange reminds us that love is rarely linear; it’s filled with struggles, doubts, and moments of confusion. Through her music, we learn that it’s about showing up when you’re scared despite the ups and downs. In these moments of vulnerability, when we face the difficult parts of loving and relying on someone, we build something truly meaningful.