– Written by Kayla Karlsson –
Love or hate it, Valentines Day seems to be a holiday that is deeply intertwined in Western culture and media. The mystery and alluring dark history of this holiday has seemed to be lost in a now ultra-consumerist hellscape of bright neon pinks and tacky dollarama chocolates. Valentine’s day has many different origin stories, creating an inconsistent idea of how the beloved holiday has emerged. One origin story followed Emperor Claudis III, who decided single men would be better soldiers, and therefore outlawed marriage for war-eligible young men. The men were horrified by this idea and a resistance was sparked from a priest named Valentine, who would marry forbidden men to their wives in secret. When his actions were eventually found out by the Emperor, Valentine was sentenced to a brutal death. Different origin stories suggest it was in fact Saint Valentine of Terni, a bishop, who was the true namestake of this holiday. Despite the difference between these two men and their stories, Emperor Claudis beheaded both of these Valentines on Feb 14th, years apart, in the third century.
Further on in history, the Christians colonized a Pagan tradition called Lupercalia, which fell in the bone chilling month of February. Some theorize this pagan tradition to be the true root of the holiday, although it couldn’t be further from how we celebrate now. Lupercalia was a grand celebration of fertility, dedicated to Fanus, the Roman God of agriculture, as well as the Roman founders, Romulus and Remus. To begin the festival, the priest would order a gathering at a sacred cave, in which the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to be carried by two wolves. The priest would then sacrifice both a goat and dog, with the goat symbolizing fertility, and the dog, purification. After brutalizing the animals, they would take strips of the goat hide, dipping it into the sacrificial blood from the animals, then slapping it onto young women and crops. These women and young girls were lined up and hit with the cloth, as men thought this sacred blood would make them fertile. Later on continuing the festivities, young unmarried women would place their names in large urns and the suitors would choose a name out of the urn, which would often end in marriage. Modern Valentine’s day has now luckily strayed away from being beaten by a bloody cloth, and now instead, you can scroll on hinge in hopes to find your soulmate. It’s almost better than having your name picked out of a huge urn.
Although Valentine’s day is at its core, is another way for people to go out and spend endless amounts of money , it can also be something tranquil and soft between friends and lovers. The thoughtfulness in crafting, writing music, poetry and creating something that comes from your hands and heart, is truly where I believe the holiday lies. Music is also an instrument that can convey such powerful feelings and thoughts behind the lyricism and voice of the singer. Growing up I loved crafting playlists for my friends and lovers, putting in songs in a spotify playlist that made me think the musician wrote it about them. It’s such a blessing to be able to have connection through music, and see in real time, how it brings communities of people together. I’ve watched my best friends fall in love with their partners and the joy of music that has been intertwined throughout their falling. The subtleness of picking the perfect song to send a message to the person you like, or the excitement of knowing that this person is the one. The calmness and stillness that you feel when you truly know you’re in love, is beautiful and therapeutic.
Coming into University I was truly beyond nervous and scared. I oftentimes wondered if I would find people I’d connect with, people who I truly felt saw me. Being seen by another person, the inner turmoil, and how you shape and mold rough experiences into something beautiful, something used for strength, was finally seen and noticed. The overwhelming gratitude oftentimes has me laying in my way too small bed, and reflecting on the way these people have shaped me in such a fleeting short amount of time. I feel for most people it’s a large challenge and struggle to be vulnerable because oftentimes we don’t quite understand the complexities of being human. Despite this, the connection with the people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting has softened a voice in me that was stuck for so long. For that I am endlessly grateful, my friends inspire me everyday with their incredible talent and creativity. I owe so much to these people and my gratitude extends beyond anything you could verbalize.
To celebrate this, I asked students at Toronto Metropolitan University a few questions regarding their music and feelings surrounding the holiday. I was contemplative at first, thinking I wouldn’t get a ton of responses. I was wrong. The sheer amount of love I felt reading their response was more than I could imagine. The questions were simple but the music they shared resonated with me, and hopefully you as well.
To start things off, I asked people what song most accurately describes their love life right now. I had a plethora of answers, some describing a fairytale romance and being swept off their feet. Others described a soft slow descent into romance and relationships, while others contemplated being by themselves and the understandable disdain for the holiday.
An accomplished journalism student, T.Edwards describes truly what all people long for in life, a romance that leaves you breathless. They share a heartfelt response highlighting a romantic song, “Right now the song that most accurately describes my love life is “Closest Thing to Heaven” by Tears for Fears. I’ve been completely swept off my feet for the past couple of months and I am completely feeling the love.”
Lily Cambell, an incredibly talented fashion student, takes a similar approach, choosing a song that displays the yearning and wondering when the right time is to share feelings with someone- that I feel a lot of people resonate/relate with, “ Bags by Clairo, waiting for the right time to say something knowing inevitably that I will continue to be so afraid to.” This song did hit double platinum in my household as well, as I pinned over my current partner.
Emma Allen shares a song that I have personally always had a soft spot for as well, she states, “Anyone Else But You by the Mouldy Peaches. I’ve been with my partner for two years and over that time we moved cities together and got to see each other become adults. Everything that I am now is because of them being in my life. Not only are they my best friend, but they are my first relationship. Starting a relationship at 16 and staying together as we go to University isn’t an easy task, but it’s made us stronger and more understanding of each other. I couldn’t imagine a better person to do it with.” Sentiments like this mean so much, devoting to a partner who is not only your lover, but your absolute best friend, is the most wonderful feeling. Having someone who is your friend first, someone who will always remain by your side, is such a powerful achievement.
Before me and my current partner began dating, I would constantly post little songs or screenshot lyrics and sneakily post them on my story. He did the same, even straying away from his metal-core listening habits, to post a Lana Del Rey song… I asked Toronto Meterpoliation Students what cryptic songs have they posted on their story, and were they any success?
Anna Mullin, an incredibly brilliant journalism student, shares, “Probably multiple times a month yes. One time I posted F.N.T by Semi Sonic and (maybe coincidentally) started going on dates with the target in question.” It’s monumental to have your crush slide up on the said story, which was achieved for this charming journalism student.
A wonderful creative friend of mine, Hazel Rumble, reminisces on posting a song on their story to send a message to their future girlfriend, “Two girls Kissing- Swirlies- the day after I first hung out with my future girlfriend, I don’t think she saw it but we did end up dating.” Coincidentally, their girlfriend Prim-Rose also shares the same song further on in the form.
Quill Graham from the English program thinks back to highschool, “One time back in high school I posted Cabo by Ricky Montgomery, specifically this one line that says “wanna see you but I gotta resist” I’m pretty sure it worked?” Ricky Montgomery definitely has a multitude of wonderful pinning love songs, filled with deep emotion.
With so much hatred and polarization dividing the world, and consequently, dividing us as people, music can be a tool that has the power to bring incredibly different people and communities together. Music can spread joy and happiness like Pharrell Williams’ Happy, that we all loved hearing on the radio and literally everywhere else ( not escable ). I asked students to answer the prompt of, The world could always use more love and kindness for one another, what’s a song you feel everyone should be listening to that encapsulates the feeling of love, here are their responses..
A creative industry student, Al Muursepp shares a beautifully written piece about a song that captures the depths of love, “ Ghosts (Bruce Springsteen) – the song is so positively emotional and vulnerable, as Bruce talks about meeting his loved ones on the other side. Unlike other songs about ghosts, this one is celebratory and not mourning. I think love is a lot like that, celebratory- everybody loves somebody whether they want to admit it or not, and so much of it goes unnoticed because it’s not that sexual attraction or familial love we recognize in our society.”
Hursh Patel shared a song that is so delicately descriptive of loving someone for themselves, instead of desiring and lusting, without true acceptance of the person’s flaws and beauty “We’ll never have sex by Leith Ross !! It is such a beautiful song.” This song really does capture the true essence of being loved for yourself, and not your bodily autonomy or what you provide for someone else. Love it oftentimes so transactional, yet this song displays the exact opposite in a melodic, soft way.
An upbeat, beyond romantic song by The Broken Social Scene, “ Looks Just Like The Sun,” was shared by a film student Nate Humes. This song really encapsulates the tunnel vision of love and joy you have when meeting someone so beyond perfect for you.
A new media student, Emma Jelavic shares a gorgeous song off of the Marías fairly new album, The Submarine. No One Noticed is a song that depicts vulnerability, but also a deep warmth, and a feeling of comfort–despite feeling isolated and alone, knowing the world is still holding you and people are rooting for you.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve can mean being vulnerable and authentic with yourself and others, what’s one song that you feel captures something hidden about yourself that you want to share with the others?
Authenticity flows and flourish in music. The ability to express yourself using an instrument, or lyricism, is a wonderful talent and gift that Primrose Watson-Leung, an urban planning student encapsulates. The song she shares is, “ Vampire Energy,” by Big Thief.
Al Muursepp gives an insightful comment, “Glass, Concrete and Stone (David Byrne) – I try so hard to be authentic and true to myself, but I am always reminded that on a primal, cellular level, nobody cares about anything fashionable, and I don’t think anyone will care that you wake up and work hard to be yourself.”
Greaser, by The Crying Nudes, is a slow intimate song that T. Edwards shares, “Just touches a deep part of my soul.”
Asking Toronto Meterpolitation students what song they despised before growing a liking towards the song. The following prompt was, “The delectable “sweetheart” candies started out as lozenges. Just like lozenges becoming sweetheart candies, what’s a song that you didn’t like before that you have grown to love?”
Hazel Rumble states, “ Growing up my dad always played Guided by Voices, and I grew to hate them due to overexposure I think. As an adult I can admit they aren’t awful. The Key Losers-Guided by Voices is great.”
Nate Hume comments, “ Work harder not Smarter – Pulgas .” Which they also state is their favorite song on rotation right now.
The final question I asked TMU students was, “What does the holiday mean to you in terms of friendship and showing gratitude for a community you may be in?”
Emma Jelavic shares the deep love she has for her friends, and fostering connection between people. She states, “It means connecting and sharing my appreciation and love for the friends in my life through social gatherings. Inviting my special people out and bonding over a good meal and laughter.”
Primrose Watson-Leung comments on the capitalist commodities and materialistic ideals of the holiday, instead she chose to express love and gratitude through DIY, “Though valentines to a large extent is a corporatized, ridiculous holiday, any excuse for me to be able to make crafts for my friends and girlfriend is one I will take advantage of every time.”
Hursh Patel speaks on the importance of words in romantic relationships, and fostering love through communication. He states, “As much as I agree that actions speak louder than words, sometimes words do speak a lot! To me, showing gratitude towards community and friends is not just doing things for them but also letting them know just how much I care for them and appreciate that they are in my life!”
Anna Mullin comments on the importance of friendship, and in return, showing the people in your lives and community your appreciation and love for them. Romance can be platonic, a way to show the people in your lives you care, and they deserve romance and love. Anna rings true to this sentiment, as they state, “ Love isn’t just for romantic partners, or that elements of romance can be incorporated into friendship as indicators of closeness and appreciation of friendship – in the way that your love language affects how you show your friends gratitude.”
Although Valentines day at its core, like most other major holidays, is a capitalistic revenue driven holiday, there are ways to celebrate that don’t involve spending tons of money. The ability to create and share music with friends, family and that special someone, is something that for millenials we have had the privilege of expressing and experiencing. I want to give a huge thanks to everyone who participated in this survey and shared intimate and vulnerable stories and songs. I also want to thank Southport for allowing me to be able to highlight these student voices and have the privilege of being able to connect through music. Happy Valentine’s Day… and tell your friends you love them.
SOUTHPORT MAGAZINE 
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